Yes I Was Burned, But I Call It A Lesson Learned

It’s funny I always seem to return to this blog in times of transition. Maybe if I stayed on the bandwagon, I would never fall off. Nonetheless, here we go again.

 

Well after another misadventure, I am stuck trying to figure out the direction of my life again. I could sit here and dwell on all the bad or have a woe is me pity party but while that may be entertaining for some, this blog is about overcoming obstacles and learning through the imperfections of life.

I won’t act like another failed attempt isn’t a disappointment, it is. I am sad about my plans failing and things not turning out the way I envisioned. This was supposed to be an opportunity of a lifetime, my opportunity to live a life of adventure and freedom as I met new people and traveled the world. And even though it did not happen on this occasion, that doesn’t mean it won’t. In fact as a result, I am probably more driven to make it happen even more now than before.

In addition this opportunity provided me with the excuse to break free of the “safe” routine which I loathed because my life was so static. I had allowed myself to get stuck in a rut and I was scared to get out. So … I am reminding myself that even in this unfortunate situation, I am fortunate in many ways.

Not only have I loosed the chains that bound me to a very unhappy living. I did so on my own terms. I created a plan and executed it. I understood the risk but I did not let them keep me bound. That’s big for me even though my friends think I am a risk taker. The truth is decisions like this make me so anxious which is why they have to be planned so meticulously.

So I guess that brings me to another lesson in the journey. Many times in this journey I have had to adjust to reality because the plan failed or was nonexistent. I am learning to embrace change and spontaneity. In many situations, the experiences which are the most impactful are the ones that just occur.  I’ll admit, as a very calculated individual this was not easy for me to embrace in all situations. Luckily I was forced into it on several occasions. As a result I have connections and memories that will far outlive the trip even had lasted the full 6 months as planned.

And that’s yet another blessing. In the short time that I was on this journey, I have met some amazing people and built a foundation for some amazing relationships. In the same way that I have been enlightened and grown as a result of my interaction with others, it is my hope that I have done the same for those in which I have interacted. I have been encouraged to learn that what others see despite the flaws and areas for improvement is a pretty awesome person.  As a real woman with real flaws and real insecurities, this was encouraging.  Now I do not take that to the head because what I have also learned are my continued areas of improvement. One of which is letting go of being right, even if I am.

The most important lesson I have learned I think is to let go of my fear. Although unsuccessful in its execution, this journey was born from the passion of someone who wasn’t afraid to take risks. He was willing to defy the odds and do something most thought was impossible. He without fear and even sometimes recklessly sees everything as an opportunity. In many cases making opportunity for himself where there was none.  This I realized, in talking with others, is what attracted me to this journey; the ability to be around someone actively living their dreams.

This has not been an easy journey but the failure has proved to be successful in teaching me some great lessons. Lessons I will use as I forge ahead to realize my own dreams.

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