Wearing the Mask of Honesty

I had a great time tonight at my friends’ monthly girls night social. How I came to be invited to interact with this group of women is quite interesting because I had not been in touch with my friend in almost a year.  After our first night out, it was evident that this was most certainly an act of divine purpose not chance or circumstance. At our social tonight the hosts asked about our new year’s resolutions, the one shared could not be one of the usual lose 10 pounds, make more money kind but an inner desire we intended to pursue.

I shared my journey to move beyond thought into action this year. I shared my desire to finally get out of my own way and make things happen for myself. In talking about my reality with one of the women, she recognized that I was extremely hard on myself. She asked me a great question; she asked if my self talk was not a deterrent and discouragement given its negative nature; it’s easy to understand how this might seem like a red flag for change from someone on the outside looking in.  I explained to her though that for so long I have allowed myself to make excuses to justify my inaction. This year I intend to be honest with myself because then and only then can I address the real issue effecting my lack of success.

But I will admit she did make me think a little bit deeper about they manner in which I approached this honesty. I wholeheartedly believe it is important to “keep it real” as some might say. My friends all know that I am the tell it like it is person but when it came to myself I wasn’t. I wasn’t really taking responsibility for why my failures were failures. I was instead making excuses.  This year I have chosen to banish excuses, eliminating the refuge they gave me for inaction.

A lesson I have been attempting to learn is how to “keep it real” tactfully and constructively with others. The message and intent thereof can often get lost or overlooked if the delivery is inappropriate and results in increased defenses. I am working to find the fine line between honesty and negative brutality. And what Michelle helped me realize is that this goal is just as important when communicating about and to myself.

I am a big advocate for the idea that thoughts are things. I believe we have the ability to manifest the reality we desire. I would probably not tolerate anyone talking to me the way that I talk to myself. I appreciate and understand the need to be honest for the sake of this journey and progress but  I must also watch the self talk to be sure that it is uplifting and motivating me toward the accomplishment of my goals and not in the direction of disappointment and discouragement. I have spent enough time beating myself up about what I shoulda woulda coulda and haven’t done. Now is the time for action and accomplishment.

I am thankful to Michelle for helping to me to realize that my negative self talk which was masked in honesty may be feeding the self sabotage I am attempting to avoid and overcome this year.

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