This morning was not encouraging one for me. As I may have previously mentioned this blog is has been a long time coming. My friends have known of this quest and encouraged me repeatedly to begin. And now that I have its still not good enough. Some of my closest friends wouldn’t even look at it. Other did and had lackluster to negative responses. Its upsetting and quite frankly discouraging to think some of my closest friends and confidants could care less or for that matter don’t support me.

Its easy to say why even care what people think but the reality is that we all do. We all need people in our lives who will pat us on the back and say go for it! I talk about being a perfectionist in recovery because this really is a journey in changing my thoughts and habits. I’m still at the beginning of this journey so it will not be perfect. I will still be hesitant  and the steps may be small but I am moving. I WILL make it to the finish line step-by-step.

I did not write this post to vent (well maybe kinda) but to share a profound statement made by one of those less than impressed friends. He said that this blog is not the beginning of anything. I could beg to differ and in fact actually I did but that is not the point of this post so … I won’t. But he said the beginning is talking about starting but it is starting. He then scrolled down the (published) list of goals (cause you know there are way more than 10) and asked if 1 by 1 I had started. Most I hadn’t, which was a wake up call for me because I wrote about 2011 starting that day and largely it hadn’t.

I will not minimize the tremendous step this has been for me just to publish an imperfect blog.  Just getting the blog up was a battle against perfection for me but I cannot rest on that accomplishment alone.  This blog is a platform to share my journey, it is my way of keeping myself accountable. The journey though at its core is the accomplishment of the projects which surround my various talents and interests.  So maybe 2011 did not begin last week or maybe it did, either way it for sure continues today.

I will act daily, this action may not be significant to others but if its action then it is significant to me.

I would really like to thank Jesse and Darren for supporting this venture. Your words of encouragement have been truly appreciated.  And for those who haven’t no hard feelings because at the end of the day this is my journey. I need to focus on doing this for me and not to gain your approval. Honestly that’s probably been a part of the problem all along.

2 comments to Step-By-Step

  • hey Tia – I always support you because I know that you are tenacious when it comes to getting things done _ Great Job!

  • Darren

    Ms. Tia I have always enjoyed reading anything that you have written. It’s like I get a first hand glimpse of what’s in that high-powered mind of yours. Keep striving for perfection and then one day perfection will be defined as being like Tia.

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